Better watch out, we're a package
by DelphianBleak
Summary: Three teenage girls, one walking talking skeleton, what could go wrong? With Neera and Delphian meeting up with Valkyrie alot. Please read as the dectective duo are paired up with some girls from the block, what's going to happen? R&R ;D T 'Cause paraniod
1. Chapter 1

**Haha, you'd better like this Neera else I'ma steal your Gasoline . mwhahahah!!**

**anyways this is a fic about these two girls who are a bit mad who happen to meet the one and only skulduggery pleasant and his assistant Valkyrie Cain, **

**I need R&R's people!!!**

**Disclaimer : I do not own anything made my derek, only things made by me. OBVIOUSLY.**

**ok, heres the prolouge! ;)**

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Two girls were walking down an unlit time was three minutes past midnight.

One of the girls had brown hair with red highlights; it's longer in the front and shorter at the back. She had ice blue eyes that stood out on the cold night and her body structure was slim. She was Asian and her name was Neera Pryditor.

The other was a young girl, only thirteen years of age; however she tended to look at the age of sixteen. Her hair was just below her shoulders and was a darkish brown, her eyes at the moment were an Emerald green, but they could change.

Both of the girls were dressed differently also. Neera was dressed in a white tank top with a red waistcoat and on her legs were hiking pants and black and white calf high leather boots. The other girl, whose name was Delphian Bleak, was dressed completely in black.

On her feet were High heeled ankle boots, which were breaking the eerie silence of the night. She was in Skinny jeans and a Knee-length black trench coat, with her leather gloved hand snugly in her pockets. The two girls were walking silently and slowly.

Then there was the gunshot, and they _ran._

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**Thankyouuu please Review !! =]**


	2. Chapter One The meeting

**Haha, it's finally here sorry it took so long :p heheheeeeee, ok, read! haha.**

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"So remind me again, why did you wake me up at 4 o'clock in the morning?" A very tired Valkyrie asked, still trying to pull on her boots.

"We have to go to the sanctuary, there was a shooting last night and a mage was killed. His name was Milo Naper, he was your ordinary Elemental apparently, no one knows why he was shot, and that's why we've been put on the case. Curiously though there were two girls there, who are at the sanctuary now, they were the ones who found him, and tried to catch the guy who did it."

This long speech was far too long for Valkyrie to comprehend or even make a coherent sentence to, so she just nodded.

About five minutes later the Bentley pulled up in front of the abandoned wax museum. Skulduggery shook Valkyries shoulder gently at first but when there was no sign of waking her he turned her towards him and shook both her shoulders sharply.

"WOAH!" Her eyes shot open and she instantly glared at Skulduggery who was already out of the car. "That really wasn't necessary!" she nearly yelled.

"You weren't waking up!" Skulduggery explained himself as he walked into the old building.

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As they got into the sanctuary halls they heard arguing down the end right corridor, the one they were headed for.

"IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WANT MY LAVA LAMP TO HIT YOUR FACE!" One of them was yelling, it was distinctly female, but with the shouting, neither Detective Cain nor Detective Pleasant could work out the accent.

"IF YOUR LAVA LAMP HITS MY FACE, YOURS WILL HAVE A CLOSE RUN IN WITH MY FIST!" The other yelled, and if it weren't for their friend Tanith Low, they wouldn't be able to tell it was English.

"THEN YOUR FIST IS GOING TO HAVE A CRUSHING HUG FROM MY SHOE!!" The other screamed back,

"THEN YOUR SHOE IS GOING TO HAVE A HOT RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FIREPLACE!!"

"THEN YOUR FIREPLACE-"

"ENOUGH!!!" Thruid Guild boomed. Everything went silent. He had obviously overheard the racket and stormed out of his study, quieting the two females, who Skulduggery and Valkyrie could now see as they turned the corner. Both were in their teens, one was Asian the other was the English one, who had longish brown hair, the other had a very pretty haircut which shaped her face perfectly, whilst still standing out with the flame red streaks running through it. The English one nudged her friend and muttered something under her breath, and the other burst out into giggles.

"I will NOT have you screaming down our sanctuary and disturbing the other mages, what was the problem?" He asked, obviously not having caught the argument at the beginning.

"Well... we don't think we should tell you sir," The one with the red streaks said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Miss Pryditor, Neera, if you have caused disturbance here, I definitely think I have the right to know why." His voice was full of authority.

The other girl stuck up her hand, like a primary school student wanting to ask a question, Guild found this amusing as it also showed his authority, and nodded her way. "Dude, you seriously don't want to know, I mean, you'd find it gross." Thruid's smile faded as soon as it came with the way she addressed him and he was quick to answer.

"Delphian Bleak, you will not address me in that manner, you may be from England and you Miss Pryditor-"

"See, I'm a Miss, you're not haha!" Neera interrupted

"And you Neera, also not living in Ireland, but while you are on Irish soil I am your Grand Mage, and while I am, you must address me so. And Very few things '_gross_' me out, or merely unnerve me, so I would love to hear what you two where making such a fuss about." He ended on a quieter, less shouty note.

"You tell him Del, haha." Neera said.

Neither of the girls or Guild had noticed the two detectives and at the moment, they wanted to keep it that way. Delphian sighed.

"Fine, but _Oh so high and mighty Grand Mage, _You might want to sit down for this." Neera ran to get a chair from the nearest room and came out with a coffee table.

"The only chairs there were sofas, and I am NOT carrying one of them, you can sit your butt on that." She plonked it down and went to stand back by Delphian.

"Ok, well... ."**(A/N We were arguing about the fact that I think if Skulduggery has skin he would be really really really hot.)** She gasped for breath as she awaited Guilds reaction, but Valkyrie bust up laughing instead, so Skulduggery pushed her.

Guild sat there, a frozen image, wide eyes, dropped jaw, the whole shebang. Suddenly he stood up, shook his head out a bit and excused himself, and was nearly in his study when Delphian yelled back to him "I told you!"

The two girls were then reminded that the detectives were present and turned around in perfect sync. "Uhhh... Hi Skulduggery." Delphian muttered a blush rising in her cheeks "About that urhm-" she was cut off by Neera "She loves you!!"

"I do not!"

"Do too"

"Not!"

"do!"

"not!"

"I get it. I'm ignoring what that was anyway. So I'm guessing you two are the witnesses from the shooting last night?"

"That we are" Neera said, cheerful, a cheeky grin on her face.

"Well, we need to ask you a few questions,-"

"We can do better than that, we've been asked to help you!" Delphian cheered; a grin nearly symmetrical to Neera's plastered on her face.

"I don't think that's necessary-"

"Guild said we were, wasn't an option" Neera told him, they pretty much took it in turns to speak.

"Ooh! That's awesome, you can stay at my uncles house with me, my parents are in France for the month, think I'm with Beryl" Valkyrie shivered at the horrid name.

"Are you sure we need both of you, isn't just one of you enough?" Skulduggery said, desperate now. But as an evil grin spread across both girls faces, he wasn't expecting the best. And all chances were lost as both girls chorused.

"No chance, we're a package."

Skulduggery drove back to Gordon's in a car full of girls laughing, making jokes, and singing 'I'm a little yellow fish'

_Kill me now_

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_** hehe, done, thanks for reading, and Neera I hope you like it, haha. I loved my chapter in your drabbles emensley haha (can't spell that word)**

**Please please please R&R!!!**

**xDBx**_  
_


	3. Chapter two Blood,Feathers & gunshots

**Oh my word I am SOOOOOO sorry I havn't updated in like FOREVER but I just havn't had time to write! I would have added more to this but I didn't want to keep you waiting much longer, I mean with all the stress of moving house and starting a new school ecetera I just havn't had time I am just hoping Neera won't attack me with her lava lamp... *shivers in fear* anywhoo here it is!!! :)**

**xDBx**

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As soon as the Bentley pulled up outside the mansion the girls were out like a bullet, all racing up to the door, Neera tripping up halfway and pulling Valkyrie down with her. Delphian being the last girl standing started going backwards, showing off. Valkyrie had other ideas misplacing the air being one of them, sending her flying.

However Valkyries shot was a lot more powerful with her energy and she was sent right through the front door, hitting her head on the way.

Valkyrie felt bad and covering her mouth with her hand in shock, ran up to see if she was alright whereas Neera was rolling around, successfully getting her outfit covered in mud, laughing so much her mascara was covering her cheeks and she had a painful stitch in her right side.

"Girls calm down! I won't be going inside that house with you three acting like pre-schoolers!" Skulduggery exclaimed, as he followed Valkyrie who was dragging a hysteric Neera while trying to find where Delphian had landed.

Neera, having quickly recovered turned to skulduggery before he walked in and said "If you don't want to come in with us like this, then fine." And with that she picked up the broken down door and placed it in front of his face. Well, skull.

Pushing the door back down, barely missing a retreating Neera, Skulduggery came back into the house to aid Valkyrie in finding Delphian who after some detective work wasn't hard to find. You just had to follow the blood. Delphian was in the kitchen, next to the dining table which from here was easily figured out as the item of impact.

She was lying on the floor head slightly propped up against one of the legs of the table. Blood was everywhere however there didn't seem to be too much damage done, but Skulduggery instantly picked up her unconscious body and rushed it to the car, Valkyrie being quick on his tail again dragging Neera along behind her who was being "Unwillingly forced to a place she wishes not to visit" as she was yelling, along with "Rape!" to try and get her to let go.

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Neera was sitting outside the room where Kenspeckle had Delphian being treated; next to her were both Skulduggery and Valkyrie. "I can't believe I did that. I feel terrible! I didn't mean to hurt her!" Valkyrie exclaimed throwing her head into her hands. "Don't worry Val, you didn't mean to!" Skulduggery tried to make her feel better but she only mumbled in reply.

About ten minutes later Kenspeckle walked out with a small smile on his face and both Valkyrie and Skulduggery sighed in relief. Neera shrugged knowing Del would be okay.

"She is surviving but she lost a lot more blood then she should have and hasn't even stirred since she came in, I think she must've had a pretty hard blow to knock her out that bad." He explained, succeeding in making Valkyrie feel worse about doing it.

"Can we see her?" Skulduggery asked and Kenspeckle allowed them into the room, what shocked them was that she was nowhere to be found.

The bed was empty, covers everywhere looking like she had been rushed out. "Fuck." Neera cursed now looking around extremely paranoid.

"What? How? When?" Kenspeckle was muttering underneath his breath as Valkyrie and Skulduggery both had very confused expressions on their faces.

Suddenly everyone apart from Kenspeckle and Skulduggery were covered in syrup and feathers being thrown over them. "HAHAAA! TAKE THAT BITHCES!" Delphian screamed hysterically from behind them.

Just as the girls were going to run after Delphian there was a huge bang, like a door being knocked down and several running footsteps, but what meant it was bad news was the gun shots.

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**Thannkyyouuu for reading and pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase review? It really makes my day and I will give out Cyber Chocolate Chip Cookies! Or blood lollypops if you want :} heheee thankyouuu xx**

**xDBx**


	4. Chapter Three the Big biggie

**Okay, so I had a warning that if I didn't update by April I would have ninja brain powers used on me to push me over, April has already dawned and I have yet to update but here it is, and hopefully it's not too late :p**

**Felicity Hollow please don't hurt me :p **

**Neera, also there is no need for you lava lamp to hit my face, I've updated, now it's your turn! haah**

**Now for the rest of you (If there are any) I hope you like this chapter Sorry it's short but hey-ho **

**xDBx**

**P.S. I am sitting here right now trying to get this updated ASAP because I hold in my lap one of the books I have been waiting for for ages and am really eager to start chapter two. The book? Which book? You ask. My dear friends, the book I hold in my hands is Skulduggery Pleasant - Dark Days. If you already have it and are laughing at me right now, screw you!! Especially if you happen to have it from New Zealand / Austrailia... WE'RE CLOSER TO IRELAND THAN YOU ;[!!!!!!!!!!1 GRRRRR. anyways, Here's the chapter :) **

**Delphian, out.**

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"FLETCHER RENN! I SWEAR I WILL SHOOT YOUR SORRY ASS IF YOU DO NOT GIVE THAT BACK" Valkyrie, Delphian, Neera, Skulduggery and Kenspeckle all looked at each other puzzled. Then Fletcher ran into the room cowering like a scared little puppy.

"Help me!" He whimpered, and Tanith busted into the room armed with a gun. Tanith. With a gun. As if this wasn't confusing enough.

"Tanith, have you ever even shot a gun?" Skulduggery asked, cocking his skull to the left, Tanith glared.

"Yes, of course I have you dimwit. I'm not completely thick. Anyway, I would have my sword if this freaking pain in the ass didn't take it." She snarled, and now everyone understood, only just noticing the sword that Fletcher clutched tight. No one in their right mind took Tanith's sword, unless she told you to.

"Hand it over! NOW!" She growled again, really losing her patience. Fletcher whined.

"Fletcher, I would give it to her if I were you. She isn't joking when she says she will shoot you. Skul, do you remember that time you took it to look at and she buried your arms in Gordon's backyard?" Valkyrie snickered at the memory, Skulduggery groaned.

"Yes. It took forever to get the dirt out. I can easily say I won't be doing it again anytime soon." He replied, and Fletcher sent a look at them, as if telling them to help him, like that was going to happen.

"Fletcher, listen to Valkyrie give it to Tanith or she will shoot you." Neera said, already bored of the situation and very annoyed that she is still covered in feathers.

"No!" He protested, still acting like a toddler who doesn't want to eat his vegetables.

"Tanith just shoot him." Delphian said also getting bored, "We're in a medical centre anyway, Kenspeckle, would you mind?" She asked casually and he shook his head and left the room muttering on how stupid kids are these days.

Tanith shrugged and shot the gun, hitting Fletcher in the leg. "OW! SHIT! JEEZE! WOW! OW! YOU BLOODY SHOT ME!" He screamed, having dropped the sword and clutched the bleeding leg. Kenspeckle walked back in with the stuff he needed to help.

"We told you!" all of the girls chorused, and burst out into giggles afterward, Tanith reclaiming her sword.

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The gang were back at Gordon's, well all except Fletcher who was still with Kenspeckle recovering from Tanith's shot."I'm bored." Neera said, turning her famous lava lamp on and off repeatedly, as soon as they had arrived back she had gotten clean, eventually getting all the feathers out of her hair.

"Same." Agreed a sulking Delphian who was now covered in custard and glitter. Neera had gotten her revenge.

"Well, we need to work on this case. Milo was killed for apparently no reason and you two were there, when you ran and tried to cut them off what did they look like?" Skulduggery asked, and the two girls remembered.

"Well," Delphian started.

"There were four of them," Neera continued

"Well, that's all we heard, there could have been more down the road," Delphian.

"But they were all quite freaky actually, all in black robes with a blue trim," Neera.

"Totally out of season by the way- but they were powerful, threw us both out of the way with a flick of one of their hands," Delphian.

"That bloody hurt too! And one of them had purple trim as well as blue," Neera.

"She was female, and was obviously the boss of the mission," Delphian.

"Wait, black robes with blue trim? And Blue and purple trim? Are you sure?" Skulduggery asked and the girls nodded and replied simultaneously "Definitely."

"I know the name of the group if it helps?" Delphian added, "Dhraymaar's Circle, or something like that." She said.

"I know. They haven't been heard of in Ireland since before the Great War..." Skulduggery whispered in a deadly tone. "They're killers. They kill for fun, for money, for praise. They just _kill_." He explained to a blank-faced Valkyrie.

"Ah. So it's a biggie?" She asked.

"Yes. It's a _big_ biggie." Skulduggery replied, deadly serious.

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**Delphian: Haha I get what you did there.**

**Authors Sence: What do you mean?**

**Delphian: 'deadly serious' .. haha.**

**Authors Sence: ??**

**Delphian: .. You know, 'cause Skul-dudes dead? you know, _Deadly _serious?**

**Authors Sence: .....**

**Delphian: You're no fun. I should get out more *walks away***

**Sorry about that hahaaa, I hope this is alright for youu haha xx**

**xDBx**


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